Disturbing things in the fridge at work.

I was having a quick look in the fridge at work today, just to see what was lurking around when I discovered a very disturbing thing.

In the top shelf of the fridge were two individually wrapped slices of wholemeal bread. Now I love my bread, but I have never seen anyone go to the effort to individually wrap a slice of bread in plastic. Its wasn't glad wrap or cling film either. This was machine sealed individual portion style. Imagine being the guys who invented that machine ! It has to be the craziest thing I have ever seen.

On a brighter note I found some cooked sausages in the downstairs fridge.

Serving suggestions - WTF ?

Every noticed how most food packaging now has 'Serving Suggestion' in small letters at the bottom of the picture? Well thanks for that Mr Manufacturer, because I would never have thought of putting the contents of the box on a plate with a bit of lettuce, or putting my Wheetabix in a bowl with some milk.

Are people really that stupid that they can't work out what to do with the contents of the box and that the picture is a suggestion of how you might choose to serve it without being old so.

I wonder if some stupid American sued someone when they opened the box and realised it didn't come on a plate with whisps of steam and shiny vegetables.

Good grief....

New Subway Size

Whilst at Subway (see previous post) one of my chums offered up the suggestion that a 6 inch sub is not enough to eat and a 12 inch is too much. I suggested a 7.5 inch sub would be optimum. It should be called the Schlong, because its not too short and its not too long..... (sh-long) not what you were thinking you dirty buggers.

Subway Menu Choices

I was at Subway today with a couple of work pals who had read my previous post about what people do in queues. Problem with subway is that you not only have the choice of what you want on your sandwich, but also what sort of bread, salad and sauce.

The issue I had was that these parts aren't listed on the menu board, so it is only when you get to be served that you see the selection. This caused much hilarity for them as I stood flustered with the choice of breads. Luckily they had a sticker on the counter with what the selections actually were, so I didn't have to resort to pointing.

Bad Service - come again

There is a great cafe up the road from where I live. We go there pretty much every weekend. The thing that gives me the poops is that they can have 6 staff waiting on the tables, but you still need to wait 15mins to get a menu ad then practically trip someone over to get your order taken.

Crazy thing is that the food and coffee is so good we keep going back. What I don't understand is how there can be so many staff and still no one seems to serve you. It seems that we become invisible. I have had fantasies about going in with an airhorn to see if that would get us served any quicker. I always think when I am sitting there waiting that I should kick up a fuss. But I never quite get the guts to do it. Maybe next week....

Brakelights on Cars - they need to work for a reason

You know those red things on the back of cars? They are called brake lights. They let the person behind you know you are slowing down or stopping.

Why does every second car I see have at least one faulty light. Having just the LED high level brake light is not good enough. I tried telling a few people about their faulty lights but either get flicked off, or just get a nod of ignorance. I am very tempted to start taking digital pics and send them to the cops with the location and times.

CHECK YOUR LIGHTS WORK !! - and don't whine when I drive into the back of you...

Airplane toilets

OK, this is a bit of an icky one. If you must pee on the seat, can you at least wipe it up afterwards? Not just because it’s the right thing to do, but also shows respect for other people. Also, if the sign on the door says engaged, pulling the handle will not get you in. But keep trying – it gives me more time to pee on the seat.

Actually this is not limited to airplane toilets. I’d like to think you are big enough to clean up after yourself.

Queues at food places – use the time wisely

I like to use the time that I spend in the queue at a food outlet to peruse the menu and work out what I would like. I might also make sure my wallet is within reach. The person in front of me always seems to only notice the menu when the get to the counter to be served. They then have to ask about every item, and then check every available space in a purse, backpack or man-bag for cash.

What were you doing in the queue ? Working on a solution for world peace or a cure for cancer???

Hotel Toasters – hands off the knobs !

You know the little motorised conveyer belt that takes a piece of bread and moves it over a heater element? Ok people, don’t fiddle with the knobs. If I wanted charcoal I would put it though twice. Old people seem the worst for this. Also young kids seem to think it’s some kind of game to play. Lets make the cranky man cranky by making him eat charcoal. Ha ha. I laugh inside, but outside I am all anger.

Microsoft Office – Respect my choice of Dictionary !!!

Why does Word or Outlook always want to change my dictionary from English (Australian) to English (US)?

I have tried everything to stop it changing it. I disabled language services and force XP to use only English (Australian). I updated the default.dot. I tried every hack Google offered me. That gives me the raging poops.

Electronic Signage should tell you what is actually happening !

You know those big electronic signs above the motorway and on the streets before you get to an on-ramp? Why do they never tell you that the motorway you are about to pull onto is a freaking car park. Would it be too hard to tell me that I am about to sit in traffic for a hour, rather than the RTA wishing me a nice day, or to remind me that the a bridge 10Km away will be closed for polishing in a few weeks time.

They are called variable message signs. Vary the message sometime to something useful ! I am talking to you Sydney RTA. M5 on-ramp. Bexley North. Nuff said.

Door to Door Collections for charity

You know they are on a commission right ? The companies they work for take up to 25% of what you give to a charity for ‘operational costs’. Give money on-line, or to a collection person in the street. Charities deserve our support, but please help them without giving you money to a collection company. I am pretty sure the bosses BMW is a legitimate ‘operational cost’….

Carbon Offsets – relieve your guilt

Now don’t get me wrong on this one. I have a water tank and I look after my energy consumption. It seems that Carbon Offsets have become the trendy thing to do. Don’t worry about living a ridiculous consumer lifestyle. Give money to a company with the word green in their name and they will plant a tree for you.

Want to help the planet ? Turn a light off you don’t need. Install a dimmer switch or replace those 12v downlights with a 240v version. Get a water tank for the garden. Investigate grey water recycling. Get a worm farm and explain to your kids how it works and show them how to recycle, reuse and reduce.

Don’t give money to people to plant trees for you. Do it yourself. “OK so that easy for you to say”, you say. “I live in an apartment block with no garden etc”. Look for other options. Plastic shopping bags - no thanks, I have my own reusable ones. We can all do our part. Look at what’s around you and how you live. It’s all about the three Rs – Reduce, Recycle and Reuse. It doesn’t need to be a big change. Enough small changes is a good start. I am not a raging Greeny in any way, but I would like my kids to grow up in a world that’s not completely screwed. Is it too late for that? I hope not. It’s never too late to start doing better.

Lighting in Hotel Rooms

I mentioned before about the room lit by a 60w lightbulb. One thing that gives me the poops are when the hotel management do there bit for the planet by replacing all the light bulbs in the room with energy saving lamps that are the horrible cool white. It’s like being in a waiting room. A hotel room should be a sanctuary from the world – a place to relax and unwind. Cool White flouros are not the answer people !! They come in Warm White now. Give them a go.

Hotel Bathrooms

Showers in cupboards, noisy extractor fans, dodgy plumbing. I really have a thing about hotel bathrooms. I like two things in a bathroom. Multiple light sources, ideally of different colour temperatures (bit of a snob that way), and ideally a window to the outside world. It is very rare to get the second thing. Bathrooms by there very nature tend to be close to the core of the building where all the services are.

I have stayed in hotels with both, indeed I had a great hotel in the UK once where you could lie in the bath and look out the window to the beach below. Might have freaked a few tourist out though…

The multiple light source thing is a redundancy issue as I always seem to get the room where all the light bulbs are about to blow. I also like to be able to see to shave. Is it too much to ask ?? Note to the hotel designers out there. Lights above the sink, and general room lighting please.

If there must be an extractor fan can it not sound like an airliner taking off? Also please don’t make the fan start auto-magically when it detects a certain amount of moisture in the air. That always scares the poo out of me.

Light levels in public spaces – Full On or Full Off

Recently I have been on the road for work and spent a lot of time in hotels and conference centres. This also means a lot of cafes, restaurants and bars. Why does it seem modern interior design either wants you to function in an over lit space or in the dark?

I had a hotel room lit by a single 60w globe on a 3m ceiling. A colleague of mine fell up the stairs at a large big-brand hotel in Perth when she couldn’t see the brown carpet in the badly under-lit stairwell. This was a venue that had recently gone through a massive re-development.

I thought it might just be because I work in the Lighting industry that I notice these things, but a quick round table with some chums after work one day came to the same conclusion.

It also seems the more it costs to eat or stay somewhere the better the lighting is.

Admittedly as places are refitted and upgraded the lighting is getting better, but have a look around the next time you are out and about. I guarantee you will find examples of bad lighting in public spaces.

Cash Machines and asking for the amount you wish to withdraw – Why ?

How come at a cash machine or ATM if you press the ‘Other Amount’ button do you need to enter the dollar and cents value?

Do ATMs give you small change? I don’t think so. So why can I enter $23.55 as an amount to then be told it needs to be a multiple of $20 or $50 notes?

Why give me an option that I can’t make use of? Its all about the user experience people !!!!! Give people the option and they will try to use it. Why offer it if you can’t make use of it !

VCRs on Planes - Why?

You can spent millions of dollars on a Boeing airplane, but they can’t fit a decent VCR? It seems planes worldwide use a tape based system for their playback. This means lines, distorted pictures and general crap quality.

In this day and age of ipods and media servers why is it still so? I can understand not having optical drives, like DVD or CD, as turbulence would course a heap of issues, but surely flash memory has reached a point where it is possible to store content at minimal cost.

Imagine the benefits for the airlines. Pull up to the gate and then using a Wi-Fi connection they simply upload the latest news or media content to the plane.

Maybe it’s a copyright issue and they think if they make the quality crap then the staff won’t steal the tapes. With a solid state solution you could get around this by having no tapes. It would be the ultimate closed loop solution.